On Aug. 23, 2024, all members of the Geneseo community received an email from President Denise Battles. In this email, Battles announced that she would conclude her presidential service in the summer of 2025. It is with great respect that we say farewell to Denise Battles and display a grand welcome to SUNY Geneseo’s new President— and his name is John Cena.

After multiple waves of impeachments and undercover corruption, the Geneseo Student Association (SA) has been shut down indefinitely, and all fees will be redirected to President Denise Battles’ grocery fund after the investigation. 

Recently, a ridiculous rumor has spread that Kalani Hilliker and Jojo, from the iconic show Dance Moms (2011-2019), have started dating. While I can confirm that this is, unfortunately, true, I do not have to be happy about it

Dear Miranda,

We’ve all seen the memes and testimonies about Claire’s Piercing and Jewelry store, but I’m here to tell you— it’s true. Back in 2021, a business representative met with the former Dean of Students to solidify a partnership between Claire’s and the Lauderdale Health Clinic.

Citizens worldwide forget that having a group of people is crucial to maintaining their health and happiness. Sadly, this has become an epidemic of forgetfulness and ingratitude and is now reaching critical levels. Naturally, this can only pertain to one clear entity: Walls.