Who would win?: Charizard or 1 Billion Lions
Photo courtesy of GabboT / Wikimedia Commons
So, you think 1 billion lions would win over a Charizard? Well, you're WRONG! Get absolutely by my Charizard, loser. Fuck you too, idiot!
A few years ago, there was a popular meme within the Pokémon community about whether one of every Pokémon could beat one billion lions. Unless you have zero knowledge of Pokémon, I think it’s pretty obvious that the lions would lose. Sure, the wild cats have the numbers advantage, but what the fuck are they gonna do when rows of Pikachu use thunderbolt on the battlefield? The lions would get fucking decimated, and the worse part is Pikachu is most definitely not their biggest threat. That would be Charizard, the best Pokémon ever created. I’m confident that a single, healthy Charizard would annihilate a billion lions, worse than how I annihilated your mom last night.
Charizard is one of the first original Pokémon, being the final evolution of Charmander, a member of the first starter trio. Charizard is easily the best Pokémon Game Freak ever created; with a badass design, it can fly and shoot fire, and is the strongest Pokémon in existence. Now, I already know what you non-Pokémon normies will say: “But one billion is a huge number; there’s no way a Charizard can beat them all!” Well, you’re fucking wrong!! Do you guys not realize how effective fire is at killing an animal? Especially from a Charizard, who shoots fire that can melt a ten-ton glacier within seconds. The last time I checked, flesh and bones aren’t fire-resistant, so those lions might as well be ants for Charizard.
Awesome fire powers aren’t the only reason a single Charizard would annihilate a billion lions; this absolute badass can fly for fucks sake. While those weak, puny lions are confined to the ground because they're freakin’ lame, my glorious fire lizard king, Charizard, can take the skies. Even if lions can climb trees or attempt to jump, they still won’t be able to reach Charizard in the air or attack it. Meanwhile, my GOAT, Charizard can rain down fire, turning those wildcats into a barbeque. I already know normies are going to say, “But there’s no way Charizard will have the strength and stamina to fly and fight for that long.” Once again, you’re fucking wrong. There are real birds that can fly for months without landing. Meanwhile, Charizard is a badass, supernatural, fire-breathing dragon. Are you telling me that a dragon has less stamina than a twee bird? You're an idiot if you think that makes any kind of sense.
Continuing the stamina argument, Charizard can battle and compete with other Pokémon, and these matches can go on for extended periods. Pokémon can take powerful attacks, including earthquakes and natural disasters, and they keep going. Charizard has fought Legendary Pokémon, supposedly some of the strongest Pokémon in the universe, and walked away victorious. If you think regular-ass lions can stop my king, you belong in a straightjacket. Lions have better odds of surviving a hurricane than fighting a Charizard (which, by the way, can casually start a hurricane).
Oh, but it gets even better. Charizard has Mega Evolutions and a Gigantamax form. If Charizard ever needed a boost (which it doesn’t because it’s already overpowered as hell), it could Mega Evolve into Mega Charizard X or Y. Mega Charizard X becomes a Fire/Dragon-type beast that can wreck anything with boosted stats and durability. If a Mega Charizard X wanted to, it could use moves like dragon dance to increase its stats even more.
On the other hand, Mega Charizard Y becomes an even better aerial fighter with its drought ability; its fire becomes significantly stronger, burning those animals into crips worse than my first time cooking meat. And let’s not forget Gigantamax Charizard— this version becomes a literal kaiju, towering over the battlefield with flames hotter than 3,600 degrees (which is hotter than fucking lava) engulfing its entire body. One massive G-Max Wildfire, and suddenly, we’re not just talking about cooked lions— we’re talking about lions being completely erased from existence.
At the end of the day, this isn’t even a fair fight. Charizard is a god-tier, fire-breathing dragon that can fly, strategize, and unleash flames hotter than anything found on Earth. Lions are just big cats with teeth. This match-up is the equivalent of putting a medieval army against a modern fighter jet. Charizard isn’t just winning; it’s making lions go extinct.