The Lamron’s 2025 e-board ranking

Photo courtesy of Public Relations Manager, Angela Totaro

Here is the only nice picture of The Lamron e-board when they weren't absolutely tearing each other apart. Enjoy!

As has become a tradition for The Lamron’s executive board (e-board), we take time to check in with one another and let our true sentiments gush forth from the pits in which they’ve morbidly festered. We usually do so the only way we know how: in the shadows veiled by anonymity. But for this issue and this issue only, let’s take a look behind that veil and see the actual ranking of the board, from worst to best members (to keep you on your toes!), summarized from their peers’ genuine feelings— not just those curated by “Big Censorship” (the editing chain). 

Coming in last is Faith, Photo Editor: 

They are the genuine definition of iPad kid: way too cultured in film, almost bankrupted a fellow e-board member’s retail dollars with their cookie addiction, will not get their shoes off the couch— even after you just cleaned it —and is, by far (debatable), the biggest yapper in the office. Not only this, but they will threaten you with violence if you refuse to fill out their scripture— the photo budget —yet will not finish a side project even if their life depended on it, nor their homework. But secretly, we aspire to be as audacious as The normaL’s “almost-mockumentary” cinematographer. 

Next is Nate, Editor-in-Chief: 

Nate either has not heard of an indoor voice or does not care, but it makes it easier to hear whatever crazy thing he may say next. Some of the staff’s favorites include: “Please watch this absurdist show/movie/video,” “Absurdist this absurdist that. It’s absurdist. No, it's so cool it's absurdist,” “So with that said,” “Nuhuh,” “...Dante’s Inferno,” amongst others. Regardless, he has carried the paper for months, lives for drama, and even though he may be cripplingly awkward, is making everyone on campus and beyond know about The Lamron and The normaL.

Next is Nia, Opinion Editor:

Nia is commonly called the vice president of the Staff Editorial (Staff Ed) with the coziest vibes in the office, regardless of when. They single-handedly revive Print Day’s latter half, tackling the beast (InDesign) late into the evening. Even when print gets the better of those still left in the office, their vast knowledge of the inner workings of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) and quiet but incredibly calming voice— which sometimes may inhibit the cool statement they just said, which they will passively-aggressively restate —keep the energy going!

Next is Kendall, Managing Editor:

Kendall is the voice behind The Lamron (meaning they are the president of the Staff Ed) and could quite literally take over any e-board position; they’re the dictator behind Nate (the figurehead of The Lamron). They know the answer to your every waking question and can write the equivalent of a whole section in their sleep. Some would even call them the calming and supporting presence to turn to when things are in shambles. Even so, Kendall causes the paper many issues through their eagerness to write more than two articles weekly, never having said “no” in their life, and asking for a “little bite” of whatever you eat. They are known to harass individuals who hiccup, scorn them even, but are considered a “warmie mogul”— which makes up for their shortcomings! 

Next is Maddy, Comic Editor:

Maddy embodies the chill dude meme— simply the chillest guy around. They need more of a platform and a 24/7 podcast of their every thought. Truly, they’re wonderful. They single-handedly restore life into the comic section with their silly yet relevant comics, and have even made the anomalous “inquiring question” fear their input during our general meetings after the infamous “Kiki or Bouba” scandal of 2024. 

Next is Brenna, Sports Editor:

Brenna is a genuine hustler and will school you in every way, especially when it comes to pool and Block Blast. Her efficiency with InDesign— how we format this paper —is unmatched as she blitzes her fellow editors; some would even call her a sports genius in every way. The only downside is that she is chronically online, and not in the bad way the rest of us are. 

Next is Sarah, Arts & Entertainment Editor:

To put it bluntly, Sarah is the embodiment of the dancing queen. She is the sweetest person you will meet in the office— even if you pronounce her name with improper emphasis —and is always down to spill tea and yap on some niche but important topics. She always knows what you’re thinking, possibly by mindreading, and always produces solid articles. 

Next is Regan, Knights’ Life Editor:

Regan is a “crochet slay,” a bundle of fun and whimsy the office needs. They always use the big-boss computer (definitely not because their computer hates to work) and are infamous for their readiness to indulge in an “Irish goodbye.” Their outfits are always great and incredibly reminiscent of a 2000s hippy in the best way. Whether it be them or their amazing car, Paul, you don’t want to miss Regan!

Next is Nikolete, News Editor:

Nikolete is not so secretly the biggest hater on campus. We can’t even be mad because she slays all day, every day, in every regard, whether it be her comfy yet show-stopping outfits, her immaculate snack and drink choices, or her perfect style— we’re all intimidated by her. One e-board member even said, “[Nikolete] makes comfy look so vogue yet says ‘stopppp I look like an egg.’” She is the backbone of the news section and will live on in infamy within it. 

Next is Abby, Copy Editor:

Abby is the hostess with the mostest and the strongest general the paper could ask for, who always stays locked and loaded. They are the Copy Corner enthusiasts who can be both the nicest yet scariest person in the room when dealing with the many issues that arise during the printing/proofing process. They run distribution like it is a top-secret operation, and are generally underrated in all aspects.

Penultimately is Angela, Public Relations (PR) Manager:

Angela is TikTok’s final boss and an internet and PR master! She is constantly looking for new ways to spread the gospel of The Lamron and is honestly an underrated part of the e-board. Graphic design is her passion, alongside her general style, and the fact that she is a Scooby Doo franchise enthusiast makes her all the more fun to be around! 

Finally— in a not-at-all biased manner —is Rachel, Web Editor:

Rachel may be often dubbed indecisiveness’s final boss who routinely forgets to start her homework, but makes time for The Lamron website glamorizing! She is a quiet soul who always finds the kindest way possible to remind everyone to get their shit together. Without her investing her incredible hacker skills, the website would not look anywhere near how it does now; she is the definitive web editor of The Lamron!