Guaplord and $mokecheddathaassgetta to headline Spring Fest

Photo courtesy of Harald Krichel / Wikimedia Commons

Guaplord and $mokecheddathaassgetta will perform at this year’s Spring Fest. Victor E. Knight gives no fuck how you feel about it.

Geneseo students far and wide have been wondering who will be featured at this year’s Spring Fest. Who could possibly top last year's performance by The Driver Era? Well, one dynamic duo has come to the rescue: Guaplord and $mokecheddathaassgetta.

Commonly known as Pete Davidson and Timothée Chalamet, these rappers debuted on a Saturday Night Live (SNL) episode on the Rap Roundtable. Upon release, their top streaming song on Soundcloud, “Yeet Skrt,” made waves within the hip-hop community. 

A very important note: actors Pete Davidson and Timothée Chalamet will not be performing. It will specifically be Guaplord and $mokecheddathaassgetta taking the stage to perform their one and only song, “Yeet Skrt.” Their set will still be normal length, however, as they plan to play the song 42 times. 

There will be an opening act before the duo performs, featuring the infamous Impractical Jokers minus Joe Gatto. As a man who has recently done some questionable things— look it up if you do not know —SUNY Geneseo will not be giving Gatto a platform. 

As for the other Jokers, Sal, Murr, and Q, they will be present and ready to perform in all their glory— but with a twist! They will not be performing a comedy set; they will be singing opera songs! They have not been classically trained; this is their first time ever singing live.

This will be quite a switch up from their normal sets, as absolutely no laughing will be allowed. If anyone in the audience is found to be laughing, they will be escorted out by a member of Geneseo First Response. There will also be a 10 dollar smiling fee for those in the audience. No smiles will be allowed— everyone is to take the set very seriously. 

The duo is set to perform on Thursday, Apr. 24, at 10 pm. Tickets will not be available online; students can find them available for purchase the day before the duo takes the stage. Tickets will be sold in the old-fashioned way, with a tent set up in front of a really long line. 

Tickets will be 7.77— cash only. To clear any confusion, exact change is necessary to purchase tickets; absolutely no exceptions will be made, even if you cry, beg, and plead. 

Any complaints about the ticket sales should be directed to Victor E. Knight, as he is in charge of all these terrible decisions. As always, the Geneseo Campus Activity Board was amazing in the planning process and worked tirelessly to provide entertainment to the Geneseo population. 

Spring Fest will also be held in a different location than usual. Instead of performing in a nice large open field, both acts will be performed under the bus shelter located in the H Lot. Cars will not be required to exit the parking lot, and there will be no security— everyone can have fun fending for themselves! 

With all of these new changes to Spring Fest, some backlash is to be expected. Thankfully, Victor E. Knight has already expressed that he does not give a single fuck about any complaints. He has clarified that all emails are going straight to his spam folder, and he currently has 8,000 unread emails. Good luck getting tickets!