Navigating a food-centered holiday while including people with dietary limitations
*Trigger warning: Mention of eating disorders and other medical issues*
If you are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, you are probably thinking about what you are going to serve, but there may be someone in your life who has issues regarding food, and you don’t want to exclude them. You want them to come celebrate, but you are unsure as to how you can adequately include them. Dietary limitations can include anything from food allergies to gastrointestinal issues to eating disorders. The following are some suggestions as to how to handle these types of situations. The solutions offered in this article may not work for everyone, but these suggestions come from a person with limited food intake due to health issues and a place of good intentions.
The concept of someone only eating a little or nothing at all at the Thanksgiving dinner table is foreign to many, and there may be some questions as to how a situation like this is to be handled. In a case similar to mine where there are foods someone cannot eat, it is important to reach out to that person directly when inviting them. Something that has worked in my family, for example, is having the host reach out to the person with dietary restrictions and ask if there’s any food that they can provide that they would be okay eating.
Looking into a case where a person has severe food allergies, it is once again very important to reach out to the invitee to see if there is anything they should not serve at the dinner. In a situation where someone does have severe food allergies it is important to take into consideration the possibilities of cross-contamination and airborne food allergies.
You may come across a situation where a person does not feel comfortable eating around others or attending a meal. You may want this person to come and enjoy the festivities, but you do not want to make them uncomfortable. My suggestion to this dilemma is to reach out to the person once again and come up with a solution on a case-by-case basis. An example of a solution to a situation where someone is not comfortable attending a meal would be telling the person what time the dinner is and inviting them to it; but, if they’re not comfortable with that, I suggest you come up with an arrangement and contact them once the dinner is completed so they can still come and enjoy the gathering. This is a great way to make sure that everyone is comfortable while still enjoying the holiday and spending time with family and friends.
In a somewhat similar situation, where a person is not comfortable eating or cannot eat during the gathering, it is important to reach out to them to see if there’s any way you can support them. I myself, as a person who has health issues restricting my eating, love to attend meal gatherings. Meals are a very social event in our society so, even if a person isn’t comfortable eating or cannot eat, that does not mean they don’t want to be included in the event. It may be odd to have someone sitting at your dinner table not eating, but they should not be pressured to partake in the meal if that is not something they can or want to do.
If you are having a relatively small gathering at your meal, it may be important to communicate to other guests—with the permission of the person with a restriction—that someone will not be eating or have limited intake. If you’re in a situation where you have a guest with a food allergy, it is crucial to communicate this with other attendees as often on Thanksgiving people bring dishes to contribute to the meal.
Another tip for accommodating people with dietary limitations is to not point out a difference. Under no circumstance should a person with a restriction be pressured into eating or being made to feel bad about their situation. If a person is eating, you should never mention the amount of food on their plate whether it is what you perceive to be a little bit or a normal-sized meal. Do not mention the amount of food they are consuming. Comments like are you going to eat all that? can make people feel isolated and should never be spoken.
In any of these situations, communication is key. The solutions offered in this article may not work for everyone, and I did not cover all possible scenarios. The best thing you can do to properly accommodate someone is to reach out to them and ask how you can support them. Just because this is a typically food-centered holiday does not mean that people with dietary restrictions or limited intake do not want to take part in the fun. If nothing else, use your common sense and source of compassion when dealing with these situations.
