The perfect advice to be a perfect lady
I know, for the ladies, it can be quite difficult to attract a suitable man to take care of you and your future children, but I have some key tips to find and nail down the right one.
First things first, always look your best when going out in public—dress modestly, but make sure to show a bit of your assets (not too much, but just enough so as not to bore possible suitors).
Next, always smile and be friendly in public. Not too friendly, of course, so as to portray yourself as cheap and dishonorable, but again, just the right amount of friendly—if you’re unhappy or irritated, do not show it. You must appear tolerable. Are we keeping up so far, ladies?
On to the next—never do or speak of vulgar bodily functions in public or around any man. If you got to go, hold it in! Ladies must never appear as if they experience normal bodily processes—that is quite absurd and will certainly run off any suitor. Everyone knows ladies do not poop, and it must remain this way. Of course, in the long run you may experience health issues as a result, but it will be worth it for the husband you will attain.
Similar to this, ensure you eat politely, if at all, in public settings. Even if you are hungry, do not indulge, as it appears ill-mannered and distasteful (and may encourage a poo). You may nibble on a small meal but go no further than that until you are in a private setting! I do hope you are keeping up with this momentous advice.
I touched on appearance previously, but I want to specify hair and makeup. Both must always appear natural, but flawless. You must have that “I woke up like this” look, while, of course, looking much better than you did when you actually woke up. Every man wants a natural beauty, and, of course, when I say natural, I mean makeup and hair done in a perfectly natural way. Always look your best (naturally)!
This sort of goes into the next point: don’t be too high-maintenance, while never appearing too low-maintenance, of course. You must not consistently need too-much, but must ensure your needs to always appear perfect are met. On top of this, you don’t want to appear too self-sufficient as to not seem in need of a husband, which will make you appear too masculine and haughty. But, of course, you must not be a lady who is needy of too much, because then you will simply appear worthless and lazy. Do you understand? Good.
Finally, just don’t be too complicated, but make sure you are still interesting and keep men on their toes. Always have something to talk about so you are not a bore, but not too much because then you will appear chatty and irritating. You must be the perfect “it-girl” who stands out from all else, who sparks interest yet doesn’t try too hard. I feel I have been quite clear, and you should now be perfectly prepared to acquire the most favorable suitor. If you don’t understand it now, well, you are simply hopeless. But no pressure!