Frugal Foodie: How to make eggs in a laundry dryer

Have you ever craved eggs? Me neither! Eggs are actually the most disgusting food out there, and the fact that we as humans eat cooked embryos makes me understand why we are killing the earth and destroying the ozone layer despite scientists’ warnings that we are eliminating our chances at long-term life on this planet. Anyway, here is a fun recipe that will get you on your RA’s shit list faster than you can say “green eggs and ham!”

Ingredients:

- Eggs 

- Laundry dryer 

- Recently-washed laundry (optional)

Directions: 

Step 1: Crack an egg or two open into a dryer. It is your choice whether or not to include clothes in the dryer or not, again if it wasn’t clear I don’t like eggs. 

Step 2: Turn the dryer on high. Dryers on campus run for 60 minutes—just enough time to make sure no sneaky salmonella remains. Will you burn them? Who knows!

Step 3: Eat your monstrosity. 

Step 4: I usually use the last step of any Frugal Foodie recipe to say “enjoy!” but I would never give eggs even the mildest recognition.