The beauties and uggos of the NHL
As a nineteen-year-old teenage girl who likes sports in the 21st century, I have been gifted one of the best gifts of all: TikTok. Of course, I like watching sports—I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t—but there is just something so mmm about a man in uniform, a sports uniform that is, most specifically in the National Hockey League (NHL). Us girls on TikTok will spend hours raking through interviews and game films to provide a select audience with hot men. Through my hours of research, I have become a pro and am fully authorized to rank the top three most attractive players in the league, and the three least attractive players in the league.
Hottest:
1) Mat Barzal
The 26-year-old center for the New York Islanders is the definition of the quintessential man. Look at his Instagram profile and you will see what I mean. A perfectly curated mix of hockey, friends, and travel; the pictures that give off “Pinterest” were taken by his girlfriend… thank you, you are truly the luckiest woman alive. If you’re reading this and are familiar with “BookTok” you would know that Barzal is who everyone imagines the main character in the hockey romance to be, and for good reason. He’s definitely aware he’s hot, but he’s not a douchebag which is a hard combination to come across.
2) Jack Hughes
The number one draft pick in 2019 and center for the New Jersey Devils has 603,000 followers on Instagram. Now look at his followers' list and think long and hard about how many of the girls that follow him even watch hockey…right? Jack Hughes is the pipeline, he is the reason so many girls watch hockey now and—he is the leader of the sassy man apocalypse. In my personal opinion, he is not the Hughes brother I would choose, but he is the people’s favorite, and I can’t argue with the people.
3) Trevor Zegras
The center for the Anaheim Ducks, and the newest star of The D’Amelio Show, Trevor Zegras is third on my list. Is he attractive? Yes. Can I see the appeal? Yes. Would I say he is my favorite? No. Zegras is the second stop on the hockey player pipeline right behind his best friend, Jack Hughes. In opposition to what I said before, he definitely knows he is hot, and might be a bit of a douchebag. I've seen some cute fan interactions he’s had, however, and that makes him hard to not like. Is he my type? No, not really, but I can see why he is a fan favorite.
Ugliest:
1) Jack Eichel
The center for the Golden Knights not only belongs to one of the most hated teams in the league, but also gives off the vibe of a man who thinks he’s better than everyone else…which is one of the worst things you can be. You can’t look like a leprechaun and act that way, you have to pick a struggle. Eichel is a great player, but there are some who are both better than him and hold themselves to higher interpersonal and public standards than Eichel ever will.
2) Brady Tkachuk
While the Tkachuk brother following in their father’s footsteps is admirable, neither brother is a looker. Though, Brady Tkachuk by far has it worse. There is just something about his face that is off, I can’t tell if it’s his ear, the weird side half smile/smirk, or his unfortunate haircut. He kind of reminds me of broccoli, but he obviously has something going for himself because he got married last summer and his wife is gorgeous. They’re expecting their first child, but let’s hope the kid comes out looking more like mom.
3) Alex Ovechkin
Alex Ovechkin will go down as one of the best players in the history of the NHL, however, his incredible gameplay will not outshine his looks. I mean, is he the ugliest guy in the league? No, but there is something eerie about him, like he might be hiding something. Maybe if he wasn’t missing teeth I would feel differently, but those jibs are long gone. The man’s done well for himself though, he’s got a beautiful wife and kids so he’s not at a complete loss.