What your favorite French fry says about you... Part two!

Welcome back folks! I hope your summer was filled with adventures of the grand and fantastical kind. I especially hope that you are ready for the semester we have ahead, because I know I am not, and it would be helpful if at least some of us had our life together.

Last semester I wrote an article about what your favorite French fry says about your personality, and considering that there are still copious amounts of French fries and types of people to psychoanalyze in the dining hall, I decided to write part two. So, without further ado, let’s get into it.

First up, we have cottage fries. For those of you who have never heard of cottage fries before, they are half-inch rounds of potatoes seasoned and oven-roasted—basically, really thick chips. If this is your favorite French fry, you’re wrong. Now listen, I like cottage fries too. I don’t eat them on the regular, but I’m not one to turn down a potato easily. They are, however, far from superior.

You are probably the problematic one in your friend group. You regularly encourage bad decisions, and you have definitely made some questionable decisions of your own, like doing drunk shopping cart races in the Walmart parking lot. Your wardrobe consists of lounge wear and only lounge wear. Consider getting yourself some nice pants and a shirt—you're in college for crying out loud! An oversized sweater and baggy shorts cannot always be the vibe.

That being said, underneath that crusty, relaxed exterior is a person who does care about people, and desperately needs love. Ask your roommate for a hug—you might need it.

Next up is steak fries. You’re looking for a little more in life right now, and regular straight-cut simply won’t cut it. You have high expectations, especially for what life has to offer, and you are a “go big or go home” kind of person. This plays to your advantage sometimes, because you are the life of the party, always turning up the notch whether you’re going out or bringing it into the conference room. Mind you, it’s a double-edged sword, and bigger isn’t always better. Don’t forget to enjoy the little things every once in a while.

Lastly, we have cheese fries. If you are eating cheese fries, you simply do not give a damn. Maybe the world threw everything it had at you, maybe it didn’t, but either way, you have a “screw this” attitude in a way that I am here for. You know that you’re going to feel like crap in the morning. But do you care? Absolutely not. Cheese fries are your favorite, and no one is going to stop you from having them. Fries before guys, people! And boy, if you are a chili cheese fries person? Hold. The. Phone. You are a French fry god. You win, you just simply win. You are probably commemorating a successful night out before the vomit comes or treating yourself after a hard week. Either way, we stan you here at The Lamron.

I hope you enjoyed learning about yourself and others. Next time you see someone eating fries in the dining hall or on a night out, you have my full permission to psychoanalyze them.