Ask Minerva #6

Dear Minerva,

How do I work up the courage to ask questions? Or even just how do I overcome the fear of reaching out?

Sincerely,

Nervy!

Dear Nervy,

Asking questions or even just reaching out to someone can be a really intimidating thing. I think most people with this fear might actually just be afraid of rejection! If this is your issue, then I’d recommend reflecting on why you fear rejection or even finding ways to be okay with rejection. At the end of the day, the world still spins! Being rejected shouldn’t affect how you view yourself, but it should instead make you realize that sometimes things won’t always go the way you expected. This is a totally okay thing to experience!

However, if rejection isn’t the cause, I would think about what is making you afraid of reaching out! Do you have a bad experience with this specific person? Is there something holding you back from conversation? In addressing the root cause, you can slowly begin to work yourself up to putting yourself out there. There are a lot of different circumstances around a situation that makes it difficult to speak up about something. From as specific as asking a question in math class to deciding to try out therapy, it’s important we recognize what limits us in these events!

Overall, the best thing I can recommend to you, Nervy, is to maybe try out some exposure therapy after digging deep. I believe in you, and I know that reaching out can be hard now, but it’s a skill that can be improved upon. Keep trying and remember: it all works out in the end. If it’s not working out, well, then it’s not the end!

Sweetest regards,

Minerva Gulp

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