If student organizations were Hunger Games districts
If you’re as addicted to TikTok as I am, chances are that your For You Page has been flooded with Hunger Games videos as of recent due to the series’s resurgence in popularity after it was put on Netflix this month. I’ve seen so many different Hunger Games videos, but my favorite videos by far are where people recast the twelve district’s tributes with famous people or characters from shows or movies. These are very entertaining, but I’ve noticed something missing: there are no videos that tell me which district each Geneseo campus organization would be in! Don’t worry, dear reader, for I have taken the time to painstakingly write this article and feed your curiosity. Without further ado, because I know you’ve been on the edge of your seat, here is the Hunger Games: Geneseo Edition.
The most obvious place to start would be asking who the Capitol would be. I think we are all in agreement on this one: the Student Association. While SA may (key word may) be a little more democratic than the despotic Capitol in the fictional country Suzanne Collins created, I’m not entirely convinced that, if given the chance, they would turn down running their own Hunger Games with the student orgs on campus. They’re in charge of basically everything, and clubs are beholden to them for funding, so I think if any organization on campus would be the Capitol, it would be SA.
In the Hunger Games, there are three different districts that win a lot. Districts One, Two and Four are wealthier and actually train their children to have survival and combat skills, so they’re pretty stacked. The Inter-Greek Council (IGC) is far and away one of these, so I’m going to say that they are District One, the luxury goods-producing district; I’m sure anyone familiar with Greek life on campus can get behind that.
District Two seems to produce the scariest tributes, including the two most competitive and dangerous people in the original Hunger Games, which, to me, screams Mock Trial (in a nice way). It seems like you have to be pretty smart and competitive to be in Mock Trial, and I think that Mock Trial would do very well in the Hunger Games.
District Four is responsible for fishing and they typically also do well, leading me to say that they would be represented by the Blue Wave, Geneseo’s swimming and diving team. This might seem like the easy choice, perhaps a bit lazy on my part, but I’m the one writing this and that’s my prerogative.
After those three districts, it gets a bit dicey for the others. District Three produces technology, so for that one I’m going to pick the Geneseo Area Gaming Group (GAGG). GAGG is the Geneseo Area Gaming Group, and I’m pretty sure they could figure out how to fix my computer if it was broken, so that’s good enough for me. District Five produces power for the other districts, and this might be a bit of a stretch, but I’m going to say they are Shakti. I’ve only personally seen a few Shakti performances, but they are definitely electrifying! I can’t believe I just wrote that. Moving on.
District Six serves as the transportation center for the other districts, and so I say The Lamron could represent them. Like District Six, The Lamron might not be on every student’s radar, but it connects different parts of student life.
District Seven is the one in charge of the lumber industry, because apparently, they have a lot of trees. If we had a tree huggers’ club on campus that would be a perfect fit, but we don’t, so someone should get on that. Apparently the people from District Seven are a bit intense, so I’m going to make it Musical Theater Club. As a former theater kid myself, I think it fits the vibe.
District Eight produces fabrics and textiles and they don’t win a lot, but otherwise we have very little information about them. So what’s a club that I know very little about that fits this? Ultimate Frisbee. What is that? How does it work? I have no clue, so… District Eight. There you go.
It’s at about this point that I began to regret even thinking about writing this, but I only have a few left, so bear with me. District Nine also rarely wins and not a lot is known about it other than that it produces grain for the country, but who else produces food? Campus Auxiliary Services (CAS). I don’t know a lot about what goes on behind the scenes of the food they serve, nor do I want to find out, so I think CAS makes sense for the mysterious District Nine.
District Ten’s industry is livestock, so it seems only fair that the cows down-wind from campus represent them. They may not be a student organization, but when it hits spring and gets windy, we can sure smell them from campus and know that they’re down there.
District Eleven handles the rest of the agriculture production and it seems like their tributes are pretty strong because of the work they have to do, which reminds me of the rugby team, the Warthogs. Please don’t question my methodology on this one.
And, last but not least: District Twelve. Other than the fact that the main characters from the books come from there, this district kind of sucks, but they were redeemed by Katniss and Peeta. District Twelve is going to be represented by a club that’s small but mighty, and something you might not have heard of: Model UN. What they lack in number or strength they make up for in smarts and enthusiasm.
So cue the Capitol theme song and play me off the stage because with that, I’m all done. If you made it to the end and spent time in your day reading this, that’s on you!