Our opinion editor ranks sports balls
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You may be seeing this and thinking to yourself “Kaitlin, what are you doing in the sports section?” Well, I have opinions, and some of them are sports related. Look out, I’m about to knock this one out of the park! (Enjoy that one sports reference, that’s all you get). Most sports use some sort of ball. Today I will be ranking sports based on their respective ball using a ten-point rating scale.
Is a hockey puck a ball? Probably not, but it is going to be in this list anyway. It is a pretty good shape—very portable. With its slender shape, it has the potential to travel at very fast speeds. This “ball” does, however, have a boring color. I guess it is black so you can see it against the ice, but can’t it be neon orange just once? This ball gets a 6/10 because it defies the traditional standard of what a ball is. You go hockey puck—don’t let society define you.
Football: not only is it a sport, but it is a ball all on its own. I like to think that the sport was named after the ball, and I will not take any input on that. This one is a weird shape, kind of like a sharp egg. It has a wonderful texture for grip and even has some white accents. The name is rather misleading, though, as the ball is mainly handled by the hands. Overall, this ball gets a 9/10 because of the Buffalo Bills.
Moving on to a ball that should actually be called a “football,” let’s look at the soccer ball. Where did we even get the name “soccer?” We are literally the only people who say that. Moving on, this ball is round and has some pentagons of both black and white on it. As a geometry lover, the pentagons are the pinnacle of awesome when it comes to the balls. For the incorporation of the pentagon, the soccer ball gets 5/10.
Before I conclude, I would like us to explore a sport with one of the most dangerous balls—the track and field shot put. Yeah, yeah, a shot put isn’t a ball, but I ask you, who is writing this article? What even is a ball, really? Well, anything that is a sphere and can be thrown is a ball in my eyes. My grandfather, Jim Ulrich, was a track and field coach at SUNY Fredonia, and he would be very disappointed if he saw this article. Moving on. A shot put is typically made out of iron, making it very heavy. This is something that should be considered a weapon. For the fact that this ball can cause, at its worst, death, it gets a 2/10, because sometimes you do need a weapon.
Finally, we have made it to my all-time favorite ball: thank God for tennis, because this sport provides something that all the others lack—this ball is not only a bright color, but it is also fuzzy! The outside of the ball is not harsh, and I would definitely be comfortable giving this ball to a child. There is also a great bounce factor here, as the inside is hollow and made of rubber. But just because the ball is soft and nice doesn’t mean that it can’t travel well—just ask dogs! Tennis balls are notoriously loved by dogs as they are perfect for a game of fetch. Overall, this ball gets a 10/10 because of its enjoyment by all.
Balls aren’t just for sports, but they sure do make things more interesting. When you’re watching your favorite sport, I ask you to consider not the sport itself, but the ball that makes it the sport.
