Opinion Editor ranks sports balls: Part Two
Guess who is back in the sports section by no one's request? That’s right, me—Kaitlin Anzalone, opinion editor. The ball is back in my court, so get ready.
Ah yes, the wiffle ball. We all probably had that little plastic bat with the white, holed ball as children. That white ball is called the wiffle ball. We all also probably hit someone in the face with said ball. Have you ever been hit in the face by one of these balls? It is not pleasant. This ball gets a six out of ten because of the painful childhood memories.
Speaking of things that hit you in the face, let’s talk dodgeballs. No matter how hard you tried in gym class, you got hit in the face. If you were lucky, your school used the foam balls rather than the rubber ones. Regardless of the ball’s material, it hurts terribly when you get hit in the face. And you never really get hit anywhere else—just the face. This ball gets a negative one out of ten because ouch.
Let’s now look at another game with a stick: pool. These sport balls are acrylic and come in many colors. The pool ball may seem relatively harmless, but have you ever seen one of those go flying across the room? If you have ever played pool with my friend group, you definitely have. Those things move with great force and speed, making them a dangerous airborne projectile. If the ball stays on the table however, all is well. This ball gets an eight out of ten because of the potential for serious trauma bonding and the fun colors.
Last week, we explored the hockey puck as a genre-defining ball. This week, we will look at the frisbee. These come in many fun colors! You can get one of these things in any color possible. Frisbees are similar in shape to the hockey puck as they are round and disc-like. I would also like to point out that frisbees can be hard to throw; they never seem to really go where I want them to. This lovely piece of plastic is being ranked seven out of ten because it gave us the iconic “What the f***, Richard?” Vine.
Moving back to the traditional standard of a ball, I would like to look at the basketball. Similarly to football in last week’s article, basketball is both a sport and a ball. In this case, I think that the ball is named after the sport. This ball is realistically named, as the goal of the game is to get a ball in a basket. Similarly to the football, the basketball has a nice texture that aids in grip. This ball is a lovely orange color and has a fantastic bounce factor. I think we can all hear the sound of a basketball bouncing in our heads. It is iconic. This ball gets a five out of ten because while it is bouncy, I am overall unimpressed.
Well folks, we have gone through another week and another set of balls. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Come write for the sports section or you will get a part three of this lovely piece of ball-related literature.
