Stop glorifying toxic relationships
Drama has ensued over social media again, and this time, it’s Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, Hailey Bieber’s husband, had a notoriously tumultuous relationship that was famously on-and-off-again. Justin Bieber married Hailey Baldwin in 2018 in a cute and private courtroom ceremony. This should have unequivocally ended the culture of hoping that Justin and Selena would get back together, and hopefully lead into a more positive direction for all three of them. Surprise! It didn’t.
The most recent drama between Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez, where Hailey purportedly made fun of Taylor Swift, a longtime best friend of Gomez. While petty and short-lived, this drama stems from a larger issue: how fans and the culture still idolize and glorify a long-dead toxic relationship, creating strife for all parties. This doesn’t just include the unhappy ex-couple, however—this also includes the family and friends who bear witness to the relationship and the breakup. Now Hailey, Justin, and Selena are all very famous individuals whose lives are highly publicized. So, to a similar extent as friends and family, the actions, words, and opinions of fans, especially when they are broadcasted on social media, can be just as impactful as the actions and words of close family members and friends. Not to mention, peer pressure is a real thing, and as most people seek the approval of others, it can be difficult to experience disapproval.
We can see the real-life effects of this with Hailey and Justin Bieber, when at the 2021 Met Gala, Hailey walked out onto the carpet with Justin and was greeted by hundreds of fans screaming Selena’s name. It clearly was stressful for the couple, some fans even reporting that they saw Hailey trying not to cry. Hailey herself responded to the event saying, “it’s a very disrespectful thing to do towards anyone.” However, not only is it simply disrespectful, it glorifies a relationship that was widely regarded as unhealthy and hurt the well-being of both Justin and Selena, as well as now Hailey. Can you imagine not only having to constantly hear about your partner’s ex, but also hear about how they were liked more than you, especially when their relationship was as harmful as it was?
According to Psychology Today, one really important step in having a healthy break up is setting boundaries between you and your ex-partner. This includes staying out of your ex’s business and having respect for the different journeys that you both are on. We as a culture need to move on—glorifying relationships that are hurtful make it harder for people to see when a relationship is toxic, and to have confidence and bravery to break away from that. Instead of forcing together two people who have agreed they are healthier separate, we should celebrate individuals pursuing their better selves and healthier relationships. Celebrating health and relationship wellness promotes good for all, and helps people understand that it’s ok to leave behind what doesn’t serve them, accept new things that complement their lives, and be happy to see others do the same.
Thumbnail photo via Wikimedia Commons