How good are you at sex, according to your sign?
The Zodiac has been used to determine many different things, with each sign having its own quirks and traits. It’s time we addressed the question that’s been plaguing everyone’s minds—which sign is the best in bed?
Did you go down on them for thirty minutes, only to have them critique your form? Look no further than their birth month (they’re definitely a Virgo). Did they play 800hz meditative beats while you did the deed? They were definitely born in March, and they also made you roleplay as Harry Styles. A December baby? They’re ran through, and for good reason.
To optimize the anonymity of the writers’ sexual partners, we are not only using pseudonyms but writing based on the opinions and experiences of four people (one person per element). That being said, all of these judgments were based on real-life experiences and encounters, NOT theoretical astrology. This shit is the real deal.
We ranked the Zodiac signs from best to worst.
Sagittarius: A sign known for their fear of commitment and love of adventure, Sagittarians are always down for a good time. They are known for their exquisite ability to leave an impression on all their sexual partners—and, believe us, there are a lot. In touch with their impulsivity and desire for exploration, they are the number one option for an exciting night without fear of lingering complications. Be careful what you wish for, though—their spontaneity could cause them to ghost you after the best sex of your life or beg to marry you after what you thought was just a silly little one-time thing. If you can get past this, though, you will reap the benefits of a lover who truly understands the ins-and-outs of intimacy.
Libra: An air sign known for their flirty nature, there are no words to describe the sexiness of the Libra energy. If you’re doing the dirty with a Libra, expect the unexpected—Libras are an air sign and love to flow with the energy that they’re surrounded with, often leading to exciting experiences that neither of you expected. And, of course, courtship is half the fun with a Libra; spend your night wondering if they are all-talk or planning to work their wonders on you later in the night, and receive the well-anticipated one-night stand (likely never to hear back, but hey, they really cared for you that one time!). And, of course, if you’re looking to explore the three-some vibe, Libras are always there for it—it actually makes it easier for them to narrow it down.
Leo: Known for their confidence and ego, Leos are passionate and angsty lovers who love to give and receive attention. Although the spotlight will likely be on them, they’re focused on the performance, and part of that is giving their partner whatever is going to drive them the most wild. When they’re not staring at their own reflection in the mirror, they can get pretty kinky, which can make for a great time as long as you can tolerate the ego boost they’ll get after banging you.
Taurus: Easily the best earth sign to bang. While Taurus’s often get a bad rep for their stubbornness, their determined passion and care for their partner comes across really well in bed. Their genuine desire for pleasure and fulfillment is hot as fuck and will make any sexual experience all the more satisfying. A Taurus is grounded in the need for balance and is probably looking for a one-to-one ratio of orgasms (which they are ready and able to give out as well as experience for themselves); though, it may lead to getting stuck in perfecting this dynamic rather than being in the moment. Divinely connected to the planet Venus, they really were built for this—expect great sex, romantic gestures, and, of course, the best mattress, followed by a cup of cold water and a cigarette to close off the night.
Aquarius: It is important to note here that none of the writers of this article have ever had sex with an Aquarius sun; however, some of us have had sex with individuals with an Aquarius Mars, the planet that rules sex and aggression. Based on these experiences, combined with some more casual encounters with other Aquarians, we feel pretty confident that Aquarians are very engaging and fun in bed. But, do be aware, they are not like most girls, and they’ll make sure you know this before they inevitably send you home so they can finish crocheting sweaters for their rats, Benny and Franklin. We predict a lot of interesting surprises that are more than likely to level up your sex life.
Virgo: A grounded earth sign known for their love of analyzing, Virgos are attentive to the details, and when it comes to sex, this makes them a strong contender. They are good listeners and communicators, in touch with their needs and the needs of their partner, and unafraid to have conversations about what’s working. It’s likely they’ll overthink it, though, which definitely takes some of the fun out of the experience, but overall, they’re a pretty reliable partner. If you’re not getting a text back, don’t stress—they’re probably just too inebraited to realize they haven’t responded.
Cancer: Again, none of us have ever had sex with a Cancer sun; all of us, however, have had some fun casual experiences with Cancers that we feel lends a hand to developing a pretty clear picture on what they might be like in bed. Cancers are intense and emotional, which would probably lend itself to some very passionate love-making (and yes, they will probably call it love-making). However, there’s probably a significant chance that they will just be a bottom, and don’t count on them not making out with another person in the same night. It’s nothing personal, but if it makes you feel any better, they’ll probably cry about it later.
Scorpio: Let it be known that this sign was easily the most contested—some of us have had our best sexual experiences with Scorpios, some of us have had our worst. The good? A Scorpio can be dominating and submissive, emotionally invested in the water-sign-way of giving and receiving, and plushly devoted to the pleasures of life that are often casted into the shadows. Think 50-Shades-of-Gray; these lovers are going beyond the act of sex and into the emotional climax of intimacy. The bad and the ugly? Scorpios tend to be pretty apathetic in sex, failing to engage in a truly fulfilling sexual relationship out of selfishness. They can also be a bit clueless (never have I ever encountered a Scorpio who can give good head).
Gemini: This sign was also pretty controversial, as Geminis are famous for having two “sides.” Geminis have the capacity to be incredibly sexy and fun, encouraging exploration and bringing their partners to new concepts and levels that they had not experienced before. There is a REALLY good chance that whoever your Gemini boo thang is, they had you walking from side to side the next morning (I’ve been here all night, Ariana!). That being said, there’s a chance that they didn’t let you stay the night—their sometimes ingenuine nature leaves concern for whether or not Geminis can always be relied on for the fresh and fun experiences that they are capable of.
Capricorn: Capricorns exude a certain sexual energy in their everyday presentation—they’re smart, put-together, and usually pretty assertive and hot in their flirting strategies. But, once you’ve got them in the sheets, a Capricorn might go a little cold on you. Set on a certain, unchangeable goal or standard, Capricorns can be pretty absent in bed, resulting in selfishness or just an overall boring demeanor. TBH they also just will play shitty music and there is no getting around that (think YouTube compilations. Yeah, it’s that bad). Overall, Capricorn gets a “meh” in bed.
Aries – As a fire sign, Aries are bold and assertive, but can sometimes get distracted by their own desires and needs rather than focusing on their relationship with their partner and the connection between them. While exciting and fun at the moment, the connection can be fast and messy, leaving more to be desired. And don’t lie, they definitely played Alex G while you were doing it. Don’t be surprised if they keep sending you suspicious Spotify links for months after fucking you up in ways you didn’t even see coming.
Pisces – As a water sign, Pisces are sure to be emotional, passionate, and in-touch with the spiritual sides of intercourse but, let's be honest, most of us aren’t trying to get this deep when getting fingered in someone's dorm. If you are a Cancer or Scorpio, you may have a slightly different experience, but for the rest of the Zodiac, your Pisces partner is likely to be off in their own world while you stare up at their Urban Outfitters plant poster wondering where things went so wrong. The Piscean likely isn’t even in their own body right now, so, I guess it's silly for us to assume they could provide pleasure to others. But, fear not! If your sexual encounter was not enough to appease your lavish appetite for power-play, the Pisces hookup is likely to put you through a few mind games before you head back to your room, ensuring that, by the end of the week, you’ve gaslit yourself into believing there is no one else out there for you.