How to get through the holidays with an eating disorder

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

The holidays could be triggering for those who have a negative relationship with food. We should practice being mindful towards one another and take the experiences of others into account all year-round. 

For people with eating disorders, the holiday season can often be filled with more stress than the advertised joy and wonder. The cold air and the falling snow are warning signals for the arriving difficulties. Food becomes a hot topic, and while the table fills with steaming platters, your great-aunt decides to share her opinion on the shape of your body and how much you have decided to put on your plate. It can be challenging to navigate— to know how to deal with potential guilt/body image issues, how to respond to insensitive family members, and how to approach holiday eating with the healthiest mindset possible.

My biggest piece of advice for anyone who struggles with these issues? Ignore everything people say about food or your body this season. 

Our culture around food and dieting is toxic but becomes particularly noxious around the holidays. While people indulge in more foods than they would on a typical day, they cannot seem to resist commenting on how they are “breaking their diets” and how they will have to “make up for it.” Sometimes, people even comment on the weight they believe they will gain and the calories they believe they are eating. These comments may seem innocuous because they are normalized within our eating culture, but that does not mean they are healthy or should be acceptable. That perspective is not helpful or productive in an individual without an eating disorder; when shared with someone who does have one, it is only more damaging. 

People also, perhaps unsurprisingly, really seem to enjoy sharing opinions on people’s bodies on the internet. Maybe they are being shady or passive-aggressive or even trying to be nice. Still, regardless of the intention behind the comment, specific comments about people’s body shapes or sizes should not be normalized. 

Saying, “You’re looking thin!” to your granddaughter might not seem damaging or triggering. Still, it might be to someone with an eating disorder, specifically one that centers around body image. For someone who is engaging in unhealthy behaviors with the aim of becoming thinner, statements like those can enable and encourage those toxic habits. Alternatively, saying something like “You look healthy!” to someone in recovery is equally unhelpful; it communicates to that person that their body has changed, orients their thoughts toward their body, and possibly alters their actions as a result. 

Perhaps we could move toward other topics rather than commenting upon someone’s bodily characteristics. For example, a less harmful physical compliment could center around their outfit, hairstyle, or makeup. We could discuss their accomplishments or personality traits—basically, anything other than their bodies or eating habits. 

For people with eating disorders confronting these struggles this holiday season, remember: these people do not know what they are talking about, nor do they truly understand how those comments will be received. 

Disregard them! Do not let them get to you. Focus on promoting a healthy mindset within yourself, and if you believe it will not cause significant issues, correct those who make damaging or triggering comments. Stick to your positive goals and focus on enjoying the good parts of this season.