G-Spot: The key to maintaining a healthy relationship with a partner
College marks a time where many college students get into their first long-term relationships, and these new partnerships can be harder to maintain than expected. A lot of work goes into a relationship, especially ones where both partners are starting to think about their futures. This is no reason to give up, however, and there are many things we can do to make sure we keep our relationships healthy and happy.
The first thing to remember is that no relationships are perfect all of the time. There will be waxing and waning periods of both happiness and turmoil during any relationship, but it is still important that the relationship you are in feels good the majority of the time. If you are finding yourself overarchingly unhappy with your significant other, it might be time to reconsider the partnership.
Attraction is a huge part of a relationship, but as Planned Parenthood reminds us, “A great relationship takes more than attraction—it takes work, and both of you have to be willing to put in the effort.” An important step to this is loving yourself; being comfortable in who you are will allow you to be happier with a partner.
Communication is the next, and in my opinion, the most important step. Again, according to Planned Parenthood: “Talk to your partner about your feelings. Ask questions and listen to their answers. If you’re upset, say so—don’t make your partner try to figure out what’s up. Talking through problems builds trust and makes your relationship stronger.” This doesn’t mean to only communicate with your partner if there is an issue, but also to discuss the aspects of the relationship that are working as well. Don’t forget to tell your partner what they do that makes you happy!
Remember that it is okay to agree to disagree. You and your partner are completely different people, and will not have the same opinion on everything. When a disagreement does happen, “Forgive and ask for forgiveness. Everybody makes mistakes. Be willing to apologize for yours—and accept your partner’s apologies.”
In college, it can be easy to spend most of your time with a partner, especially with Geneseo being a smaller campus. “Give each other some space. Couple’s time is great, but spending ALL your time together isn’t. It’s healthy to have your own friends and interests outside of the relationship.” A great way to do this is to be active in any of the amazing clubs SUNY Geneseo has to offer.
Finally, if relevant to your relationship, talk about sex openly and honestly: “Telling your partner what feels good and what you like and don’t like helps you have better sex. Never pressure your partner into doing something they don’t want to do, or let your partner pressure you—consent is a must.” If you feel like you cannot have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner, ask yourself how you can take the steps to make yourself more comfortable in having these conversations.
If you notice that your relationship is lacking these fundamental qualities, try reading our article on communication or signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Relationships can be difficult to navigate, but with hard work, communication, and mindfulness, the relationships you have in college can be ones that last a lifetime. As always, check out the Planned Parenthood website for further information and resources about relationships and sex.