Cocaine Bear: A must-see more addictive than its title
Good moviegoers of Geneseo, I implore you to not look away from this article’s silly title. I know what you’re thinking—‘Cocaine Bear?! Now that sounds like an idea too ridiculous to transform into a film worth sitting through. What makes this movie note-worthy enough to write or read about? What is Cocaine Bear even about, and why should I care?’
Folks, at this time last week, I, too, was riddled with these hesitations. That being said, I am here to deliver the good word—Cocaine Bear is, without a doubt, worth the 95-minute viewing, and is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. As junior political science major and self-described third biggest fan of Cocaine Bear Noel Guidry described, Cocaine Bear is “a comedic assault.”
“The movie accurately depicts what it feels like to be a bear on cocaine,” Guidry said. “Not a second is wasted in its mission to overload your senses.”
Set in northeast Georgia, Cocaine Bear brings together a cast of oddball characters, from kids playing hooky to corrupt government officials, all of whom come to the woods for various personal motives and stay for the coke-addicted bear. The film follows the many misadventures surrounding escaping this bear, protecting the many characters from the bear’s coke-induced violent attempts to get her fix, and rescuing the cocaine packages that the bear found throughout the woods from her clutches (a plotline motivated by drug dealer Dentwood, played effortlessly by the late Ray Liotta).
The truly harebrained plotline of this movie was brought to life by hilarious performances from well-known and juvenile performers alike, from award-winning Isiah Whitlock Jr. and ever-funny character actress Margo Martindale to Christian Convery, a 13-year-old actor who played my favorite character in the film. It is worth noting, however, that there were some genuinely heartfelt performances in this movie as well—Alden Ehrenreich, who plays a father who has lost his way after the death of his wife, moved me and several other audience members to tears with his vulnerability in the midst of such a laughable film.
The plot of Cocaine Bear is so shocking and spontaneous that I am hesitant to comment on it at all; however, I recognize that the title Cocaine Bear may not be enough to get the average movie-goer on board, so I’ll give a brief synopsis of some of this movie’s peak moments. Within the first half hour of the film, you will be stunned by two children, both 13 or younger, consuming cocaine (though not quite as conventionally as we may be accustomed to in modern media), which was one of my favorite parts of the movie. From there, you can look forward to no shortage of adorable bear footage, along with many absurd weapon malfunctions and rescue plans gone wrong. I will warn viewers that there is a good deal of violence and gore sprinkled throughout Cocaine Bear, as this bear is very passionate about getting more cocaine; I am, however, usually very gore-averse, and did not particularly struggle with any specific parts or scenes in this movie.
Though this movie is truly just about a bear that does cocaine, there is so, so much to appreciate about this film; believe it or not, motifs of goodwill, grief, and motherhood make up much of Cocaine Bear’s fabric, and only elevate the humorous stakes of the movie’s entirety. I laughed so hard during this movie that a fellow audience member rudely told me post-viewing to, “Laugh louder next time.”
And let me tell you, sir: I will. I absolutely will.