The Quintessential Films to becoming a “Film Bro”
The only people whose opinions are correct in the world pertaining to movies are those of the Film Bros, and even though this is an undeniable fact, there is a major issue with these individuals that not enough people are discussing…they all have it wrong. Movies like Whiplash (2014), Fight Club (1999), The Dark Knight (2007), and Pulp Fiction (1994) are all steaming piles of shit that are not worth any acknowledgment; they are examples of how rotten this abhorrent group of individuals has become. Don't worry, though, I have the quintessential films needed to achieve the actual legendary title of Film Bro.
When you think of the ultimate rivalries in movies, duos like Batman and the Joker or Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort come to mind, but the true quintessential rivalry of cinema is between Alvin and the Chipmunks and the Chipettes, self-contained to a singular, beautiful story titled Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009). This movie encapsulates a bitter rivalry between two competing trios, told through the best screenplay I’ve ever read and, is then, presented on a silver-platter to the audience through stellar filmmaking. This is one of the best films ever, in every meaning of the term; it’s a feast for the eyes and a must-watch for any aspiring Film Bro.
When thinking of the most beautiful set pieces and rich world-building, do not listen to any mainstream opinion—the true pinnacle example is the legendary 2006 film Happy Feet. If you thought of films like Dune: Part Two (2024) or The Empire Strikes Back (1980), you are just blatantly fucking wrong, and that’s all I have to say to you. Happy Feet (2006) expresses everything right: The worldbuilding is unique, self-contained, ever-expanding, and has intricate pieces that will lock you in, morphing you into an authentic Film Bro.
Now, thinking about the ultimate space film is a pretty heated debate because the two films that most amateurs immediately mention are Interstellar (2014) and 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)...that's a clear sign of complete morons. The legendary film Space Chimps (2008) is the obvious choice for this: A creative narrative that revolutionized the science fiction genre is a crucial watch, and the best part of it all is that most usually only need eight to 10 viewings to truly grasp the entire narrative!
Moving onto the most widely controversial of them all: The quintessential Martin Scorsese films. Some will jump to his “classics,” i.e., Goodfellas (1990), The Departed (2006), or even Raging Bull (1980), but they would be wrong. By far, the most important film involving Scorsese is not one of those artsy fartsy movies he directed; it is the legendary film he starred in, Shark Tale (2004). This film includes some of the best-written character arcs for its characters, specifically Sykes—played by Scorsese. Shark Tale (2004) is crucial for anyone looking to become a Film Bro, and you’ll only understand what I mean after viewing its majesty for yourself.
Finally, the idea of a team working together to achieve their goal is a popular one in film, but most make the mistake of watching films like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) or Ocean's Eleven (2001), however, the best film that expresses the idea of teamwork stylistically superior to all others is G-Force (2009). This team of trained super-agent guinea pigs, including Darwin, Hurley, Juarez, and Blaster, are deep, rich characters with enthralling arcs crucial to understanding film as a Film Bro.
Achieving the title of Film Bro is no easy process, but by watching these few legendary films, you can now show off your Letterboxd top five with pride and brag about how your favorite films are better than everyone else’s merely because they’re all fucking clueless when it comes to this topic; everyone is, other than you and me. Happy watching, future authentic Film Bros, and please remember to enlighten yourself with some true cinema.